3 Compromises You Should Never, Ever build In A Relationship: In any long relationship, people have to give up some things and find solutions together. This includes joining two lives, solving big problems, and handling smaller ones like where to go on vacation, what toothpaste to get, or how to load the dishwasher. Sometimes we wonder if we’re giving up too much. This feeling might start early or later, when the excitement of new love wears off, and we notice our partner’s flaws. Being able to talk and agree on things is usually a good sign for a happy relationship.
Some choices are really important and shouldn’t be made too easily.
These three things often cause problems in relationships and make people unhappy.
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Those things don’t mean your relationship is ending, but they show there might be problems coming. Here’s what you can do to help.
Keeping secrets about yourself
Sometimes we get scared that our partner won’t like certain things about us, like who we are, what we want to do, what we believe, what we like to do, or who we hang out with. So, we keep those things secret or make them seem less important. But when we do that, it’s like we’re cutting off parts of who we really are.
Even if we can hide those parts for a little while, in the long run, it can make us feel bad inside or make our relationship not as happy.
Instead of giving up, you can slowly share parts of yourself by talking with your partner about why they matter to you and how they can fit into your relationship.
Tolerating disrespect
One big clue about if a relationship will be happy and last long is how you and your partner act when you disagree. If either of you treats the other with disrespect or mean feelings during arguments, it’s not good. Being rude, angry, or not understanding each other in those times makes it hard for couples to deal with problems and stay strong together.
Instead of just giving up or giving in when things get tough, try something different! Sit down together and chat about how you both want to handle disagreements. Maybe come up with some guidelines to follow when things get heated. Work on improving how you solve problems together, and really try to see things from each other’s point of view. It’s all about being kinder and more understanding toward each other.
Sexual incompatibility.
When we keep secret things about how we feel about sex, like what makes us feel excited, what we like, or what we believe about being with one person, it can make us unhappy in a relationship. It’s like hiding puzzle pieces – the picture won’t come together right, and we might feel upset.
Lots of relationships are okay even if the sex part isn’t perfect. It’s really about how much we care about having good sex with our partner. Some people think it’s super important, while others don’t mind as much.
Instead of giving in on what you want, talk openly with your partner about what makes you happy in bed. They might not have shared all their likes and dislikes either, even if they haven’t had as many experiences as you
Guy Winch is a really smart psychologist and famous writer. He writes stuff that’s in The New York Times and a magazine called Psychology Today.
This story was first put out in Psychology Today. The author said we could print it again here.
