Habits of lonely women who never find real love: Dating is hard. It can feel like finding a tiny needle in a big pile of hay. But you know what? I think if you keep trying, you’ll find someone eventually.
If you keep meeting new people and working on yourself, you’ll find real love one day.
But some women have a tough time doing that. They stay in their safe places because they’re scared of getting turned down or let down. And because of that, they miss out on meeting someone special.
1) They don’t try to make themselves known
One of my close friends has been imagining her perfect boyfriend for a long time. She’s in her mid-twenties and hasn’t had a boyfriend before.
Why isn’t she in a relationship?” you might wonder. “Why is she still single?”
It’s not because she doesn’t want a boyfriend or girlfriend. She’s not shy or quiet or uncomfortable around others. Actually, she’s really friendly and outgoing.
The thing is, she finds it hard to start dating. She doesn’t use dating apps, doesn’t talk to people she likes when she sees them around, and doesn’t even look at them for long if she’s interested in someone at the library or a café.
Simply put, she’s not trying to meet new people and make connections.
2) They don’t have room for love in their lives.
When I got over my last breakup and started dating again, I found out it takes a lot of time.
If you’re a woman using dating apps, here’s what happens:
You spend a long time swiping, and only a few people match with you. Some of those matches don’t talk anymore, or they say things that make you uncomfortable, or they’re not even real people. Some matches don’t ask you out or just send boring messages. A few nice people ask you out. You go on dates and like some of them. If you’re lucky, the guys you like are also mature, smart, and have similar values. If you’re not lucky, you’re back to swiping on dating apps again.
3) They say mean things to themselves a lot
If you want to find a good and long-lasting love, you need to believe that you deserve it.
Lots of women say mean things to themselves that make them feel bad. This makes it really hard for them to feel good about themselves when they’re trying to find someone to love.
They might say things like:
“I’m not good enough. Nobody will ever like me.”
habits of lonely women who never find real love
“Why would someone want to be with me? I feel so unsure about myself.”
“I’m not easy to love. Dating is too difficult.”
Here’s something you might not know: your brain likes to think the same thoughts over and over again. So, if you think bad thoughts, you’re more likely to keep thinking them.
And sometimes, without even realizing it, you might act in ways that match how you feel about yourself. This could mess up your dating life because you’re trying to prove to yourself that you’re right about feeling bad.
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That’s why it’s like a magic trick that comes true: when you believe bad things about yourself, they can end up happening.
Saying nice things to yourself might sound silly, but because of what I just explained, it actually helps.
4) They think with fear.
What if I go on a date and it doesn’t go well?”
“What if I like someone but they don’t like me back?”
“What if I never find someone and I’m alone forever?”
All of these worries are about being scared.
But being scared isn’t good for making good choices in the long run.
It might make you pick the wrong person just because you’re afraid of being alone. Or you might not even try to date because you’re scared of being rejected. You might even stop talking to someone just because you’re scared they’ll be like your ex.
I understand how that feels because I’ve felt it too.
But then I started to enjoy being single, focusing on my job, and spending time with my friends. I realized that dating is just one part of life.
If I find love, that’s awesome! But if I don’t, I can still be happy.
This way of thinking helps me succeed. I don’t lose anything because I already love my life.
And if I try and it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. At least I can say I gave it a try.
5) Sometimes people only listen to ideas that agree with what they already think on social media.
Imagine this: if the computer magic sees you really don’t like posts about dating, love, and marriage, it might keep showing you more of those.
So, you end up feeling really angry, grossed out, and hopeless, like you’re stuck in a never-ending bad feeling.
That’s exactly what happened to me after my last breakup. But then I decided to look for things online that made me feel hopeful. I wanted advice that helped me and made me feel better.
Now, I feel more positive about going on dates. I believe I’ll find someone who’s right for me because I’m not looking at stuff that says I won’t.
